Tips for Being Trauma Sensitive in the First EFT Session
Creating a “Bubble of Safety”
My intention in writing these articles is simply to share ideas on how to be more trauma informed when using EFT.
The information will be of particular relevance to mental health professionals who are learning EFT, but the tips will be useful to all EFT enthusiasts.
I write from my unique perspective as an Advanced EFT Practitioner who specialises in helping people recover from sexual trauma, using EFT.
I am also an EFT trainer, mentor and a proud Social Worker with over 30 years of working with people who have experienced trauma.
One of my missions is to see more mental health professionals trained in EFT, so that EFT is more accepted within the mainstream public health system.
My first priority when working with a new client, is to create a “Bubble of Safety” - a container in which the person feels safe to do the work with me. This happens through building rapport and trust with that person, and it might take time.
In my experience, going in slowly and safely with EFT is the most effective way to work with trauma.
Laying the foundation for safety in the first session.
Let me tell a little story about the opposite of feeling safe:
I remember the last time I went on a bus. It was years ago before I knew EFT, and it was a terrifying experience. I was in unfamiliar territory, visiting my in-laws in Cairns. I had no idea where I was, but I had been told if I get on that bus, it will take me into town.
The minute I got on the bus I felt scared. The bus driver grunted when I asked was this the right bus to go into the city. He made no eye contact with me. I realised I was putting my life in his hands, as the bus took off speedily before I had even sat down, and I was hurled towards a seat.
I wanted to get off straight away. I did not trust the person in control of this enormous death tap of a vehicle, and my heart was pounding in my chest.
I started to imagine what would happen if the bus crashed. There were no seat belts, and I could imagine myself flying though the air and smashing into a whole lot of other screaming passengers.
This driver seemed to have no regard for the safety of his passengers. He was driving way too fast and was erratic, stopping suddenly at red traffic lights so that passengers were being thrown forward in their seats.
I started to wonder if this was how my life was going to end?
What has this got to do with EFT?
Our clients are going on a journey with us in an EFT session. It is important for them to trust us and to feel safe.
My point here is that people want and need to know what to expect in an EFT session, so they can make an informed choice about whether it’s something they want to try.
EFT is a combination of:
Exposure therapy - focusing on the negative - “Even though I feel Anxious…...”
Cognitive therapy - thoughts about the problem - “thinking about dropping the kids off at their dad’s house on Saturday, because my ex might be angry at me again.”
Somatic element - working with the body - “And I feel this in my tummy, it’s like there are butterflies in there, but I accept myself and how I feel”.
Doing EFT with clients is a very different way of working with emotions and processing trauma.
For many this will be the first time they have ever experienced EFT, and they often have no idea what to expect or how powerful EFT can be.
If managed well, the power and speed of EFT can produce amazing results. If not managed well, it can feel like too much too soon for some clients.
I explain that by using EFT we are bringing together the conscious mind, the unconscious mind and the somatic body and nervous system.
Let’s use an example of “Anna” a 40 year old mum of two children, who is separated from her partner, and has been experiencing a lot of anxiety since the separation.
This happens particularly when she has to deal with her ex-partner, who is not accepting of her decision to separate.
Let us think about the parts we are dealing with here:
The person who is there for the EFT session, who says they want to change something and they are paying you to help them. They will tell you about the conscious and rational thoughts they have about this problem.
Their (somatic) body and nervous system, which remembers everything that has ever happened to this person. It holds stored emotions, past traumas and trapped survival stress. This part of the person may not feel “safe” to change at all, due to past experiences.
The unconscious mind - which also holds all sorts of memories and information about this person, which the person may or may not be aware of themselves.
Your client may have done “cognitive therapy” before or even “exposure therapy”. So they might assume that EFT will be similar, and think it’s no big deal. They have worked with the conscious mind and its rational (and irrational) thoughts. But they have possibly never worked with the body on this issue.
They’ve never asked the body “where are you feeling that now?”
And they may never have tapped into their unconscious mind regarding this issue, which EFT helps a person to do. So things might fall out of their mouth during a tapping session which seem very surprising to them when asking about this Anxiety.
For example Anna might say “I just feel like I’m in trouble when I go to his place”, and then say “I don’t even know why I said that?”.
The hippocampus (the memory centre in the brain) might drop in a memory of an earlier time in the person’s life when they felt this anxiety.
At some point whilst tapping on the anxiety she feels just thinking about dropping the kids off at their dads house, Anna might recall a time when she came home from school as a 13 year old, and her dad was standing at the front door, looking very angry, and he said “get inside”. She knew she was in big trouble for something.
Having this kind of stuff pop in can freak a person out.
So we want to help our client to be prepared but not scared.
And as mental health professionals, we are often working with people who have a lot of trouble trusting people, due to past trauma. So just getting a client into the room to do this different kind of work, engaging the body, and the mind, can be a big deal.
Your client is going on a journey with you that is unlike anything they have experienced before, and it might be very personal and intimate.
They might end up unintentionally sharing things with you they have never told another person in their life.
I let my clients know that my job during an EFT session is to:
Facilitate the EFT process
Keep a close eye on my client at all times for signs of dysregulation.
Ask for feedback from their body and mind
Ensure they are regulated in their nervous system as much as possible.
“Put the brakes on” if the intensity is getting too much for the person emotionally, or within the body.
I let my clients know that their job is to:
Let me know what is happening for them throughout the EFT process, in their body, in their conscious thoughts and in their unconscious mind.
I tell them that they might start thinking of another time in their life when they felt scared/ worried/unsafe, so they know to let me know if this occurs.
Or they might feel very unsettled by having earlier memories drop in, particularly if the memories involve traumatic times in their lives. I explain that if a memory pops in, we can decide what to do about it at the time. This will depend on how they feel and how long we have been working together.
I don’t usually tap on childhood memories in the first few sessions, until a good “bubble of safety” has been created. I want to know how they are responding to tapping on recent events first.
Your client needs to feel that they can trust you to keep them feeling “safe” throughout that process, emotionally and physiologically.
What does feeling “safe” mean?
As mental health professionals, we are typically working with clients who have experienced a lot of trauma in their life. Activated trauma can result in a lot of intense somatic sensations coming up in an EFT session, which can feel scary and overwhelming. Or they may feel very little physical sensations.
Some people are already feeling their throat tightening or closing over, before they start to tell you about their issue. This makes it difficult for them to talk or even think. This a very common for people who have experienced sexual trauma.
It’s like the body is trying to stop them from talking about what happened, in order to keep them safe. This can be scary or upsetting or even very frustrating for a person.
So I let my clients know in advance that this can happen, and they need to let me know so we can stop and help the body feel more comfortable with the process.
We might do some chasing the pain to assist, which helps the throat relax and the person then feels like the body is letting them talk again.
Feeling “out of control” in an EFT session, emotionally or physically, can be very triggering for a person, especially if they have a known trauma history. As one of the definitions of a trauma is that the person felt “not in control” of what was happening to them at the time.
So again, your job is always to focus on keeping your client feeling comfortable wherever possible, helping them to feel as “in control” of the process as possible.
Not much will be achieved if your client is not regulated during the session.
Remember too that your clients are possibly a little anxious before the session has even started. They may be worried about what it is going to be like having to go over all the difficult stuff with a new professional.
I want to reassure my client that I am safe bus driver, and that together we will navigate the terrain of the body, the nervous system and the unconscious mind.
Although I have never travelled on these actual roads, (as in tapped with this person before) I know the roads could be filled with potholes, potentially landmines, and we might end up driving around some scary cliffs.
It might be a bumpy road ahead, so I’m letting my client know we are going to go slow and be very cautious. Just in case.
Unlike myself on that bus in Cairns many years ago, I want my passenger on my EFT bus to feel safe and at ease.
Because I know the potential power of EFT to help my client, almost no matter what their problem is. However I also know that if I am not able to help them feel safe and have a positive first session, they might not want to come back for the second session.
So go slowly, take your time to build trust and rapport, and you will build a good “Bubble of Safety.”