EFT for removing “heart walls”. From grey to gold.
Gina (names changed) was one of my first paying clients. She was someone I had known for a while so there was a trust there already. I knew her to be quite intuitive, spiritual, and open to energy work, which helped me to relax. She didn’t know much about EFT, but was willing to give it a go.
She had already spent lots of time, and lots of money, reading and attending all sorts of alternative courses and therapies, attempting to find peace and healing for herself around this issue.
So I knew her expectations were not unrealistic.
Gina was the kind of person everybody would probably think had everything sorted. I know I had made this assumption myself.
On Facebook, her life looked almost perfect. Even with the messy inevitable chaos of having four children, and working with small children, Gina appeared to handle it all with humour and ease.
She always seemed cheery and bright to me, like a really positive person who was happy with her life.
The assumptions we make about people based on looking at their photos on Facebook can be pretty inaccurate. It’s just a photo album with words to me, where people post and write about the happy moments of their life, so they can look back and remember them.
It doesn’t mean that is all there is.
Gina started our session saying she felt “Stuck”.
And “completely drained”. She rated this problem 8/10.
A self-confessed people pleaser, she told me “I give so much, I can’t give anymore. But I get nothing back”.
Both at home and work she said “It’s as if I can’t receive love or genuine affection. I can’t accept a compliment.”
It was really frustrating to her, and she didn’t understand why she was like this.
She felt like she could only give her husband about 50% of her love for him, which made her feel bad, as he was so loving toward her. But his expressiveness felt strange and uncomfortable to her.
I was intrigued. None of this in any way fit my superficial perception of Gina.
As always, I asked Gina to list her negative thoughts and feelings about herself, and wrote them on the whiteboard like wardrobe drawers.
They went like this:
I am not good enough.
I am not creative enough.
I am hiding and embarrassed, I am not even sure I should be in my job anymore. (She is a highly valued early childhood educator, adored by the kids and families she works with).
I am not true to myself, so I can’t be authentic with others or myself.
I’m not loving myself.
I am always looking to others for acknowledgement, and I’m sick of it.
If I am challenged in any way, I just shut down.
Especially if it is someone older or more qualified than me.
I don’t value my own skills.
Time to look at what is underneath all of this…she was ready.
Gina went on to tell me that her dad (now deceased) had been quite a cold man.
Although she always knew he loved her dearly, he never showed her any physical affection. And he never said the words “I Love You”.
He wasn’t just like this to her, he shut her mum off too, and her siblings. He had experienced a very deprived childhood himself, as his parents died when he was very young.
He grew up in an orphanage, so it made sense to her that he had never experienced the kind of love she wanted from him.
So he just couldn’t give it himself. To her or anyone.
Gina identified that this was the reason she had always felt like she was “searching for something”.
She was constantly looking for someone to give her this love she never felt but always wanted from her dad.
She went on to talk about her first love, a guy named Jimmy, who she met when she was 15.
Gina described feeling totally in love with Jimmy, and they had a lovely relationship until she was 18.
Gina explained that it was not just Jimmy she was in love with, but his entire family. They took her in as one of their own, welcoming her with a warmth she had never felt before.
It was like the sun came out for Gina and she felt fully alive, basking in the free flowing love of Jimmy and his family. His Dad and his mum loved her, his sisters became her best friends. She thought this was it for her, she felt so at home and complete.
Until she found out Jimmy was seeing someone else.
And he ended their three year relationship.
She was so sad telling me about this vulnerable time in her life, when she lost so many important relationships. Because not only did Jimmy cease all contact and move on completely, so did his family.
“They just forgot about me”. she said, really feeling that pain there and then.
She was so shattered at the time, that all she could think of to do was smoke lots of weed to numb the pain. That was how she dealt with it, as well as looking for love anywhere else. Searching for someone to make her feel warm and alive again.
I almost got a tear myself hearing about this.
Then I remembered to ask Gina where she felt this in her body.
Of course it was in her heart. She sensed a greyness around her heart “like an armour”.
I had just been reading about “heart walls” in the book “The Emotion Code” by Dr Bradley Nelson. I was a little bit excited to see how EFT could help free the energy of this trapped emotion from her heart. Gina was very aware of what was going on for her now.
“I feel like there’s this heavy grey armour that has grown over my heart, to protect it from getting broken, and to protect me from being hurt like that again. My love is trapped under this armour. There is sunshine in my body, but I can’t let it out.”.
We tapped and tapped as she talked through these feelings, breathing deeply and intuitively tuning in to what needed to be healed. Focusing on her heart.
As the grey armour started to fade, I got this vision of liquid gold being poured over the top of Gina, melting all the coldness in her heart and her body, and allowing her to feel and express her own love, and the love of others. I could hear the song “Black and Gold” playing in my head.
Gina could sense the liquid gold too, and by the end of the session she reported feeling an actual glow and warmth from inside. She was exhausted, and a bit embarrassed at the depth to which we had gone. As she never expected any of this stuff to come up.
This often happens with tapping, people think they are coming about one thing, but their unconscious mind knows the real thing that needs to be worked on, and throws that up instead.
But Gina was happy, she said she could feel her own sun coming out and beginning to shine.
This single session was so moving for me. But the messages I got from Gina in the weeks and months that followed were even more amazing. She was happy for me to share her story and her thoughts afterwards, thinking her experience may help someone else to take the step to find healing for themselves through EFT.
Gina said she cried loads in the couple of days after the session, (this is also quite common if you are shifting lots of old sadness) but she was able to meditate and be gentle with herself, and to feel her heart and chest being “so open”.
She also said that she kept seeing “liquid gold” everywhere.
A couple of months later she messaged me to say she felt she had unravelled so much stuck energy that she did not even know was there. “I am slowly taking back my power and becoming in love with myself. I no longer have this feeling of searching for something.”
“It’s like my inner child was healed, connected and caught up to the adult I am now”.
I loved the way she expressed it. And the impacts the EFT had had on her life as a whole, enabling her to feel more authentic, and more in love with herself, her life and the special people in it. These were all of her goals for the session met.Is there any wonder why I love this work?